For professional, high-achieving women, the unspoken message has long been clear: focus on your career first, put your head down, and figure out the rest later. But what happens when you finally step into marriage after spending years establishing your identity, financial independence, and professional stature?
In this episode of The Black Woman’s Confidant, Dr. Nicole sits down with Dr. Nikia Smith—board-certified anesthesiologist, wellness coach, retreat facilitator, and founder of She Is Fire Forged. Having navigated over a decade in the high-stress world of medicine while learning to choose softness over survival mode, Dr. Nikia shares her personal and practical insights on getting married “later in life” after building a successful career.
Together, Dr. Nicole and Dr. Nikia dismantle the societal pressure placed on career-driven Black women, explore the power of laying out your non-negotiables up front, and how to transition from managing everything on your own to creating a true, safe partnership.
About Dr. Nikia Smith
Dr. Nikia Smith is a practicing board-certified anesthesiologist, wellness coach, and retreat facilitator. She’s also the founder of She Is Fire Forged, a transformative wellness brand that helps high-achieving women of color reclaim their peace, power, and purpose. With over a decade (and counting!) of experience in the high-stress world of medicine, Nikia brings a deeply informed lens to conversations around burnout, boundaries, and emotional restoration.
Nikia specializes in guiding women—especially Black women in leadership and healthcare—through the exhaustion that comes from constantly being everything for everyone. She equips her clients with the tools to say no without guilt, build lives rooted in their own definitions of success, and live in softness over survival mode. Through retreats, coaching, and community care, Nikia curates spaces where women are invited to pause, reset, and reimagine what thriving truly looks like. Her work blends evidence-based wellness tools with embodied spiritual practice, creating a holistic path forward rooted in softness, sustainability, and self-trust.
Outside of her work, Nikia prioritizes rest, joy, and connection. You’ll find her reading, recharging with loved ones, and spending time with her niece, modeling what’s truly possible for a strong and powerful woman in this world.
Key Points
00:20 Introduction
3:30 The Marriage Series
4:40 Going from living alone to living with someone
7:05 Dr. Nicole’s journey
12:00 Dr. Nikia’s journey
14:30 The benefits of getting married later in life
15:50 Discussing non negotiable up front
18:50 Having someone in your space
24:30 Creating a new space for you and your partner
25:30 Therapy can be extremely helpful
27:30 Financial independence changes things
30:50 Dealing with expectations
31:45 Advice for marrying after being established
33:15 You can create the marriage you want
35:52 How to find Dr. Nikia
39:15 Conclusion
Episode Resources
Follow Dr. Nikia Smith on Instagram @NikiaSmithMD
Follow Dr. Nikia Smith on Youtube @NikiaSmithMD
Dr. Nikia’s Coaching Site She Is Fire Forged
Connect with Dr. Nicole
Follow the Podcast @theblackwomansconfidant
Follow Dr. Nicole on Instagram @drnicolepsych
Follow Dr. Nicole on Facebook Dr. Nicole Psych
Follow Dr. Nicole on X @drnicolepsych
Follow Dr. Nicole on tik tok @drnicolepsych
About The Black Woman’s Confidant
The Black Woman’s Confidant is a sanctuary for successful Black women to take off the cape, prioritize their mental health, and navigate life, leadership, and wellness with authenticity. Hosted by physician and speaker Dr. Nicole Washington.
#BlackLove #MarriageAfterCareer #SheIsFireForged #HighAchievingWomen #DrNikiaSmith #RelationshipNonNegotiables #BlackWomansConfidant #RelationalWellness
